STRONG MAN TALE

You barely passed WAEC after two sittings. Then you wrote JAMB and failed until the sixth time. You were given admission at the university. You could not respect your old balding self and you fell for cheap promises. Of girls. Of alcohol. Of better grades. You were given endless names of lectures who played ball. Who were either members of your cult group or who were oracles that needed to be appeased. You became a member of a cult group you earlier swore you would never become. Then you started standing on the streets, harassing young boys and girls. Ah! Chioma refused to be your girl friend. But how could she refuse you? After all, you were a strong man. You called members of your cartel. She must be dealt with tonight. You and your group robbed her hostel. Damn! Those breasts are so fresh and full. You never knew she had such nice breasts. But you saw how good they looked this night because she was putting on just a lingerie. You could not see such juicy breasts and round butts and pass by, after all you came to deal with her. Then you tore her clothes, got a devilish erection and your Pennsylvania travelled to her Virginia. Tears! blood! Sweat! You went on. You climaxed on her fears. Wait oh! What if this girl has HIV. Mtcheew! Who cares? Besides, you didn’t think of it. She didn’t see you. Your face was covered. You were reborn into the night. So it began, a routine. Every girl you wanted that said no has her fuck-up treated. Chairman, the fuck-up treater! You did not mind that ‘treater’ wasn’t a correct word. Then you treated the fuck-up of Angela. You did not know that her boyfriend, Osas, is the head of your rival confraternity. Yepa! Your mask had fallen off as you moaned in ecstasy. She saw your face but pretended not to. Osas heard what you had done. It was an insult to his position and power. Which kain numbered bastard go do my babe strong thing! Which kain coloured ju! Then you were contacted. You, on the advice of your men, slapped Osas. After all na enemy the bastard be. Then two days later, you were walking to school. Two boys outflanked you in quick succession. Before you could shout for your men to help you, you were already in soup. Kpoai!! Kpoai!! Kpoaii! Your body laid lifeless, in the old ditch. Na wa o! one strong man die today. They did the bush dance for you. They chanted war songs for you. You could not hear your men because you no longer existed.

Apocalypse if you believe in it. You were standing on the long file before God. The Ancient of Ages with his magnificent white beards read out their sins. You were at the end of the queue. Then suddenly you turned. Osas was standing next to you wearing a smile. Ah! You remember him! That year when you were alive! Then you crossed over to him to greet him.
‘My guy how far na? mehn, shebi na you shoot me that year. Na man you be ooo!”
Sheepish smile. ‘Bros na me run am oo. So even for last day you dey remember person face. Na you be the man joor.’
‘Abegi joor. Make God run this thing make I know where I dey go joor. We go meet for there make we reason. Make I dey my lane before person entire my space. I no wan begin vex here dey show myself. You know as e be na. I be strong man.’
‘Abi. Comfam oo! Later things na . I hail you!
You go back to your lane. Judgement continues.

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